Adventures in Raising Compassionate Children

As the holiday season comes to a close, I am left wondering if I do enough to instill compassion in the little hearts of my children. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what the little people in our family can do to help others.  It's important to me to not only tell them, but also to show them how blessed we are to have what we have.  I want them to understand that there are so many people who are in a different situations than us, and who do not have as much as we have.  I want them to know from an early age that life can change at any minute and we do not take things for granted. 

We did the Toy's for Tots program, and we also always put change in the red pots outside stores.  We also participated in Operation Christmas Child.  We helped with care packages for deployed men and made cookies for our neighbor.  Teaching giving is easy during the holidays, but that is just it.  I don't want to teach just giving.  I want to teach compassion.  I want them to feel something when they see someone who needs help, whether that is opening a door and helping someone with groceries or placing spare change in a jar for a cancer patient.

How do we do this?  Well, I know that my children emulate pretty much every thing I do, so modeling is the first step in my "Compassion Bootcamp," that will last at least 18 years.  I know, that is a LONG time to be in bootcamp right?!?!  We also plan to talk a lot about it.  I know from a young age that kids understand a whole lot more than we give them credit for.  It's funny how they can hear the word "cookie" and little ears perk up, but you yell "STOP," when they are running away in a parking lot and you get a blank stare.  Taking to heart they are understanding your words; instead of saying "don't stare at the lady in the wheel chair," when you are in the checkout line and they ask very loudly "Why is that lady in a wheel chair?" A better response maybe saying something along the lines of "Some people just need some extra help to get around,"  Changing my responses will however challenge me to stop giving the easiest answers.  Not an easy task when my 3 year old notices EVERYTHING and asks questions loudly about it ALL, but we all know that raising kids is not easy.

Step two in my Compassion Bootcamp is to expose my kids to the "not so easy" parts of life.  As they get older it will be easy to volunteer in soup kitchens and help out in clothing closets.  Right now we can purchase school supplies for kids who may need them, sort through old toys to donate, and buy food to donate.  But physically taking the kids to these places will help them to gain a visual of how life is different for others, and yes this too will spark some interesting questions.  Thing One asked me why a man was so dirty and smelly, again he asked this question LOUDLY, when we made some donations to a soup kitchen last week.  We talked about how some people don't get to take baths because they don't have one...to which he replied, "That is soooo cool, he is really lucky."  So, maybe three years old is a little young to understand it, but you get my drift and what I was trying to do!

Step three in Compassion Bootcamp is teaching little ones to do things for others without wanting anything in return.  This one is the easiest to actually do, but the hardest lesson to teach so they get it.  We don't actually have to talk a lot on this one...well, take that back.  There are no answers to the questions besides, "just because."  "Why are we baking cookies for the Marines coming home from Afghanistan?"...."Just because it is a nice thing to do."  "Why are we helping the neighbor weed her garden?"......"Just because it is a nice thing to do."  "Why are we visiting our friend in the hospital"...."Just because is it a nice thing to do."  The end goal being that my babies grow up doing things just because it is a nice thing to do.

These are my 3 steps, but I am sure you can add more and I would love to hear them!  I surely need all the advice and suggestions I can get.  Supporting each other in our adventures in raising babies is what this is all about.  I love hearing from grandmothers too...I mean they have already been there and done that!  You guys can tell us where you messed up, so we can avoid your mistakes or at least feel like our own mistakes aren't so bad.

One of J's little friends needs to use a walker when walking due to a genetic disease. The other day as we were looking through pictures online he said "Mom, you know why he needs that thing?"  I said, "No, why?" He said with much confidence, "Well Mom, he just needs a little more help that's all."  So, maybe, just maybe, we are making headway on this compassion bit that I am so compassionate about :)

"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble."
1 Peter 3:8