The response from my last blog post was overwhelming. Thank you so much for your support and kind words. I have had messages from people all over the world, many whom I don't know. I am thankful that there are people out there who needed to hear what I have to say and it is being helpful. Although days, hours, minutes, even seconds change from good to not so good all the time, I do know "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) The problem is that I know these things in my head, but my heart is taking a little longer to catch up!
Thank you for your calls, emails, and drop bys. I am sorry I haven't always responded. I have never been a phone talker and I just don't quite trust myself to call everyone back. I am slowly getting to emails and Facebook messages. Just know that I got them all and I do cherish your words. I often look back over the texts or listen to the messages when I am having a hard minute to gain strength from your words.
Physically I am doing much better. My body has just now realized it is no longer pregnant, as I have been having morning sickness most days this week. I think I will still be yoga pants for a while, which is not a big thing....those I enjoy :) I came off pain meds Thursday, and while I still am experiencing discomfort it is nothing like it was before. Most people do not realize (I had no idea, but was so glad I had been warned!), that miscarriage is pretty much the same as early labor........same type of uterine contractions. There is just no "reward" at the end, no reason to forget...........
I have good days and bad days. Yesterday, was not a "good" day. We found out a week ago on Friday (I actually miscarried Monday night). It is hard. I had given myself a deadline of a week for getting back into the routine of our daily lives and I failed, and I am completely ok with that. I was an emotional wreck...yep I found myself crying during the Biggy Smalls tribute song by P-Diddy, yeah, what was I doing on the VH-1 "Memories" show anyway! I tend to break down when people are really nice (thus, the no phone calls thing). This is an issue I have always had. I do just fine, until you are nice to me. I would be better off if everyone was just mean............just kidding, please do not be mean :)
Today is a good day! We have been re-arranging some furniture and hanging pictures. For once the weather is beautiful and we are planning to walk over to a charity event in our neighborhood to see some trucks after naps. It will be good to get out of the house for a little bit and be a normal family for a few hours.
What I have learned this week is that it's all about perspective and understanding that it is ok for your perspective to suck once in a while. Finding another person with the same perspective is helpful, but talking with someone who wants to hear your perspective is good too. The Lord has blessed me with sweet friends. I'm learning that life will be different and I'm learning to be ok with that.
No comments:
Post a Comment