**Edited to add. I am using my point of view as a Mother. It is not meant to say that Fathers do not have the same struggles, but I'm not one so it would be wrong of me to act as though I totally get it from a Father's point of view! But Dads I do think you need to hear that it is okay as well. :)
Lately my thoughts have centered around doing enough. I think we all struggle with doing what is just right without succumbing to the thoughts that because we are not doing it all or we are not doing it like our neighbor we are doing this parenting thing wrong.
I think we also hesitate to be real. I don't necessarily think this is comes from a desire to hide our true selves, but more from a place where telling about the hard parts of life makes us feel guilty because our hard is not as hard as our neighbors hard. I think sometimes the church does a bad job of making women, especially young mothers feel as though a crazy day with littles should only be viewed as a blessing and not as a hard day, because "they grow up so fast." Or that a teenager who comes home from school with an ugly heart moment, could be much, much worse..".at least they are coming home." And while both of those thoughts are true and it could be worse, all that Mama wants is for you to acknowledge that it was a hard moment, give her a hug and tell her it is okay. Not that it could be worse or that she should be thankful for her blessings. Because seriously, life is just hard sometimes!
So, if you were sitting in my kitchen sharing a cup of coffee in the wee hours of the day or on my porch as the sun goes down while our children draw chalk pictures in the drive way, this is what I would say....
Dear Mamas,
It's okay. No, really it IS okay. It's okay that you stayed in your warm bed another 10 minutes while the baby let you know she was awake. It's okay that you caved and gave your children string cheese for breakfast. It's protein, right!?! It's okay that your floors haven't been swept in several days and the laundry hasn't made it farther then the couch. It's okay that you just realized your children are enjoying marshmallows that they found in the couch cushions!
It's okay that you took a 10 minute time out in the bathroom with your stash of good chocolate...or stood in the garage and ate a spoonful of cookie dough. It's okay that you dreamed about a sunny beach vacation while your 5 year old read 2 pages in 20 minutes. It's okay that you took out a pair of pants from the dirty clothes for the 8 year old to wear to school. It's okay that you forgot today was picture day. It's okay that you ate your lunch in 5 minutes so that you wouldn't have to share. It's okay that you have worn the same pair of yoga pants three days in a row. I mean you changed underwear each day.....or at least you think you did!
It's okay that no one really got dressed today. It's okay that your school day consisted of learning how to do chores, badly. It's okay that you fell asleep during naptime and the to do list didn't get done or that naptime really just consisted of watching the same movie with your pre-schooler for the 10th time in 4 days. On that note, it's okay that screen time was most of the time. It's okay that you can't remember the last time you washed your baby's hair. It's okay that you forgot that soccer practice was at 5:00 and it's now 6:00. It's okay that you are serving pizza for dinner. Again. It's okay that you skipped bath time tonight......and bedtime stories. It's okay that bedtime is when it gets dark, even when that is 6:00pm, and it's okay to be sad that it gets dark at 9:00pm in July.
All of these things are okay, because you are a good Mama and you love your babies something fierce. Just because you have had a hard day or a hard few weeks doesn't mean you don't appreciate all that you have been given, it just means that life can be crazy hard.
Because even in the midst of all chaos, I want you to know that it's all okay!
Much Love,
A Mama who needs to remind herself often that it's okay.
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