Adventures in Getting Ready...

To My Dear First Born,

Five years ago this week we learned our prayers had been answered.  We had been praying for you for more then 7 years little man.  Through ups and downs, and tests and hormones we never lost hope that one day you would arrive.

I write this to you now because you are growing up so quickly.  You are becoming a big boy before our very eyes.  I write this because our family is soon going to be going through another change; a challenge, and this time you will be old enough to understand.  Old enough to remember.  Old enough to be sad...and mad, and frustrated, and lonely, all the same things your Mommy feels.  I just hope that I will do a good job helping you to get to the other side. 

You are a smart little boy.  I have no doubt that you will make it through with flying colors.  You are articulate.  You open your mouth and the words that come out are thoughtful and wise beyond your years.  I am fairly sure that you will be able to explain and help your sister to understand, much better then I will.  You see you were 3 years old only a couple of years ago, I was 3 years old 30 years ago.  You speak her language much better then I do!

I want you to know that you do not need to be the "man of the house," while your Daddy is gone.  I want you to be you.  We will help each other do things like clean the yard, wash the cars, fix the potty...all those things your Dad is really good at.  But it's ok for you to be a kid.  You don't need to step up and try to take his place.  No one can do that.  Besides, when he comes home he is going to need to fit back in.  If you take over then what will he do??

I know your Dad is going to miss a lot of things.  It's ok to be sad about that.  I want you to know that he wants to be here more then anything.  Especially to see you turn five.  He dreamed about you for so long.  He wants to see you learn to ride a bike with out training wheels, and to watch you play in your first t-ball game.  Don't worry, we will make a video and he can see you do those things over and over. 

I hope that I can be the Mom you need me to be.  We will pray together for your Dad every night.  We will take comfort in knowing that we sleep under the same big sky as your Dad.  We will know that God looks after him, just like he looks after us.  And you know me, we will take a bazillion pictures and you can tell your Dad about each and every one of them. 

I love you my sweet boy, more then you will ever know. 

Love,
Mom