Adventures in the holidays!

Ahhhh, the Christmas Holidays…….days filled with baking and decorating and wrapping paper.  Going from event to event gayaliee (is that a word???), wearing super cute dresses and boots.  The strains of music being played in the background that everyone joins in on the choruses and does little impromptu dances.  Holiday movies every night and at the end of the month, we all sigh and are sad it is over…………is this how it goes down at your house????  Yeah, not mine either!  

My holidays end up looking messy, very, very messy and you know what I have learned in these last 5 years.  IT IS OK!  We do what we do, when we can and the rest, well, it just doesn't really matter!  This is the first year, in 4 years I put ornaments up on the tree.  Usually we just have lights.  I know I got funny looks and questions about "losing the ornaments," but it was all I could do to get the tree up so I just did what I could!

What really matters are the lessons that you want to teach and learn each holiday season.  In our house we choose to focus on Jesus and teaching grace and graciousness.  That is pretty much all I can handle at Christmas.  We choose not to do Santa.  Not because we believe that Santa is bad (although if you read the Night Before Christmas, he does appear kind of creepy!), but because we only have the energy to focus on one.  And you know what, that is okay.  We teach that Santa is pretend, just like the Disney Princesses are pretend, just like the Magic Tree House books are pretend, like the movies we watch on TV are pretend, and like the If You Give a Mouse a Cookie book is pretend.  We teach that St. Nicholas was a real person a long time ago who brought presents and that is where the idea of Santa bringing presents came from.  We also do not negate Santa.  Meaning that talking about him is not "forbidden" in our house.  We are pretty open about other people pretending about Santa differently.  BUT our kids are 5 and 3 and I do apologize in advance if they "let the cat out of the bag" for yours.  I try to not let them out of my hearing range when we are with other kids, but I can't be everywhere at all times so yeah….  

This is what works for us.  I want to be clear that I know and 100% believe that it is not the right route for everyone.  I have friends who are able to balance Santa and Jesus beautifully.  I look at them in amazement and wonder as I see them work to make sure that the kids understand the differences between Jesus and Santa.  They are able to bring the two together in ways that I just would never think of. 

Here is the thing, every year when we don't do Santa, I breathe a sigh of relief.  That is one thing I don't have to worry about.  I don't have to pretend or remember what I have said about Santa.  I don't have to  work in visits to see him.  I don't have to fit another "thing" into our already busy weeks.  We just don't do it.  Honestly, it makes our holidays much less crazy and believe me, they are crazy enough as it is!!

All month long I have watched people (including myself) go a little insane trying to get this and that done.  I share our story not to appear high and mighty or make you feel inferior, but to say it is ok to have an out.  If you need to bypass baking during the holidays, that is ok.  If you skip out on Christmas cards this year (which we did, and this makes some family members very angry, but oh well…), that is ok too.  If you miss taking the kids to see Christmas lights, that is perfectly fine.  You don't have to do it all every year.  In fact, I like to say it will make it more special next year if you choose to do it ;)

I am well aware that our choosing to not to Santa is a bone of contention for many people.  I have heard it all and our families think we are a little crazy.  I'm ok with that too.  We are confident in our decision and know that it is the best thing for us.  Being confident in a parenting decision is hard these days, with crazy bloggers like me throwing out their opinions, with articles of all kinds of viewpoints to choose from, and all it takes is a quick Google search and it is right at your fingertips…utter confusion! What is super cool though, is that in the midst of it all only you know the hearts and minds of yours and YOU have to do what works for YOU……and really, isn't that what this ride is all about?  Merry Christmas!!!!!!!

Adventures in thanksgiving

We just finished round one of cooking for tomorrow.  By "we" I mean both kids and I, which I can tell you is a feat in and of itself!  I had the 5 year old on the fruit salad, because he can use the can opener and the 3 year old on the cranberry sauce because she can "constantly stir" the pot on the stove when I am standing next to her.  We also peeled and made stage one of the crock pot mashed potatoes and did biscuits and cornbread for the dressing.  Then I put all that stuff in the dishwasher and we will do round two this afternoon.  I start at least a day ahead so that I can enjoy fixing the food and not get frustrated with my helpers when it takes 2 or 3 times as long to make something.  I like that they want to contribute and I know that all too soon they will not be interested in helping.

I now sit here watching them dance to the music playing in the background and reflecting on what the term thanksgiving means.  Webster defines thanksgiving as "a prayer offering thanks to God."  I STRIVE to always be thankful.  I'm not always successful, but it is something I work towards every day.  I think being thankful every day helps me to have better days.  Not "happy go lucky, rainbows and unicorns" type days, I mean real "I'm struggling, but I'm thankful for …." type days.

I'm glad there is a day called Thanksgiving.  A day (or I like to say season because I really don't think celebrating on the fourth Thursday of the month of November is all that important), where everyone across the United States (and other countries have their own days of Thanksgiving that are at different times) regardless of religion or creed are thankful.  We living in a time where consumerism is at an all time high and it important to stop and reflect even for just a few moments on being thankful.  

This year we are striving to teach our littles the importance of being thankful.  It's been a goal for the entire year.  Teaching them through actions and letting them know that every day is a blessing, even the days we wish were over!   We talk about thankfulness often, but I think, no I know, that they respond much better when watching our example of thankfulness.  And that my friends is truly the key, right…realizing and understanding that we as adults are the ones they will watch and take cues from.  If they see us, thanking God, thanking one another, and being outwardly thankful for everyday things then they too will hopefully grow up with an attitude of gratitude rather then an attitude of entitledness!

Adventures in today

I want to remember today.  Not for the uncertainty, or the craziness, or even for my own frustrations.  I want to remember today because if it ever looks like it is going to happen again, I need to remember. 

I need to remember the look on the faces of those who know today is the last day they are going to work, until it is over.  I need to remember the hearts of the friends whose lives are turned upside down because they spent the last 2 months recovering from being furloughed for several days this summer and now, without notice they are furloughed again.  I need to remember the disappointment of my daughter when I told her dance was cancelled.  Classes we paid for, from a teacher who is not a DOD employee, but the classes take place in a government building that is now closed.  I need to remember the uncertainty from families who are expecting loved ones to return home this week, but now the "middle man," the one they go to for information is no longer working in his office.  These are just a handful of situations I want to remember.

I want to remember, because 17 years ago the people who are now in charge, the ones who made the decisions and got us to this point, they were my age when it happened the last time and they seem to have forgotten.  They don't remember.  They have no idea.  I need to remember.  I will remember.  Forgetting is unacceptable.

Adventures in Getting Ready...

To My Dear First Born,

Five years ago this week we learned our prayers had been answered.  We had been praying for you for more then 7 years little man.  Through ups and downs, and tests and hormones we never lost hope that one day you would arrive.

I write this to you now because you are growing up so quickly.  You are becoming a big boy before our very eyes.  I write this because our family is soon going to be going through another change; a challenge, and this time you will be old enough to understand.  Old enough to remember.  Old enough to be sad...and mad, and frustrated, and lonely, all the same things your Mommy feels.  I just hope that I will do a good job helping you to get to the other side. 

You are a smart little boy.  I have no doubt that you will make it through with flying colors.  You are articulate.  You open your mouth and the words that come out are thoughtful and wise beyond your years.  I am fairly sure that you will be able to explain and help your sister to understand, much better then I will.  You see you were 3 years old only a couple of years ago, I was 3 years old 30 years ago.  You speak her language much better then I do!

I want you to know that you do not need to be the "man of the house," while your Daddy is gone.  I want you to be you.  We will help each other do things like clean the yard, wash the cars, fix the potty...all those things your Dad is really good at.  But it's ok for you to be a kid.  You don't need to step up and try to take his place.  No one can do that.  Besides, when he comes home he is going to need to fit back in.  If you take over then what will he do??

I know your Dad is going to miss a lot of things.  It's ok to be sad about that.  I want you to know that he wants to be here more then anything.  Especially to see you turn five.  He dreamed about you for so long.  He wants to see you learn to ride a bike with out training wheels, and to watch you play in your first t-ball game.  Don't worry, we will make a video and he can see you do those things over and over. 

I hope that I can be the Mom you need me to be.  We will pray together for your Dad every night.  We will take comfort in knowing that we sleep under the same big sky as your Dad.  We will know that God looks after him, just like he looks after us.  And you know me, we will take a bazillion pictures and you can tell your Dad about each and every one of them. 

I love you my sweet boy, more then you will ever know. 

Love,
Mom

Adventures in Turning Corners

We have reached another corner in our household, and it is up to us to make the turn.  The 4 year old is ready to be a non-stroller rider.  He is getting big.  I will pause so that you can shed a few tears for us, me in particular. 

This means way more then I thought it would mean initially, when we first bought his new to him 16 inch wheel bike.  This is requiring many more changes.  I thought buying the bike would mean I could start running with a single stroller pushing the 2  year old and he would pedal right beside me and life would be all rainbows and roses.  Funny, me the PE teacher, did not account for the fact that my 4 year old would not just get on and ride for 4-6 miles.  In my mind I just thought that is what kids did...yeah, not so much!

He did AWESOME at his first ride.  I should mention that the first time he ever got on his new bike was at a Stroller Warrior workout that had over 100 people in attendance and he rode for about 3 miles.  However, I had forgotten to bring him water. So, yeah he was struggling.  How could I have not realized that he would need water?????  I needed water.  I had some for myself even.  Which was good, so that I could share.  But ummm, yes, that was lesson number one.  1)  Bring a water bottle for new bike rider to the workouts!

Who doesn't need a lime green bike???

So, at bike ride number 2, which was a week later at another workout, I realized that hills (even baby ones that are more like lumps) and a new bike rider do not go together so well.  I got an arm workout pushing him up each one and still trying to steer the stroller with the other one and trying to not let either one get out of control!  He ended up going about 3 miles that day too.  Yay!  I remembered water, but ummmm he was starving after the ride and it was clear his blood sugar had dropped.  This is lesson number two that I learned.  2) Bring new bike rider a recovery snack.

Finding other new riders helps to encourage him!

Bike ride three happened about two weeks after bike ride two, and it was in our neighborhood, which is perfect.  Water and snacks easily accessible!!  We have a loop that is about 2.5 miles long, so the goal was to do the loop.  We made it to the end of the street and then the complaining started.  Oh did it start!  He wanted to walk his bike the rest of the way.  He was tired.  He couldn't do it.  He needed help.  He wanted a drink.  His legs hurt.  His arms hurt.  His head hurt.  He was hot.  We had gone .2 of a mile.  "What in the world was going on?" I asked myself.  He had been riding much farther then this.  I was confused.  That was when my schooling kicked in, (see I am not "wasting my degree" after all!), and I re-learned lesson number three.  3) Even little bodies need to "train" for physical activity.

We had been sick, so his body was not in the same physical shape that it had been in previously.  We did this on our own, so he also didn't have the peer pressure from seeing other bike riders, nor did he have the constant encouragement that comes from the other runners telling him he was doing an awesome job.  Jack is fiercely competitive (not sure where he got that from), and he needs the motivation of "beating" someone.  He also didn't have the motivation of the playground at the end of the ride.

One of his proudest moments on his first ride was beating my good friend Stephanie to the "finish line!"

So, what is our plan of action.  No, I am not putting him on a "training plan."  Please do not start treating me like a "stage" parent!  I should say that as adults we would never expect ourselves to just get on the bike and ride any distance with out practice!!  Our plan is to ride the bike around the block and up and down the street, a couple of times a week, so that when we do longer rides he is prepared. You see kids, just like adults need to train their bodies. He WILL be able to get on his bike and ride next to, or in front of me while I run. But he can't do it the first few times getting on the bike. Did I mention lesson number four?  4) Little ones can have sore muscles.  This usually manifests into saying that the legs hurt.  It's true.  He might not be faking it if he rode his bike for the first time for 3 miles the day before.

 I LOVE that we are turning this corner and we can bring his bike to group runs.  It makes me sad only because it is a huge visual sign that he is getting bigger.  He is growing up and pretty soon he will be making those rides without me next to him, with proper hydration and nutrition...otherwise I have a grump on my hands.  I thought I might share my lessons learned with you so that maybe you can avoid my failures as you make that turn from being a toddler into little kid.

What are some of your lessons learned as you watch your little one grow up and master new skills?